Loneliness: The Importance of Connection, Care and Taking Time for Yourself
While loneliness is a common occurrence for many people, it is not always a topic of open discussion. People often find it hard to explain as loneliness doesn't always mean being alone physically. Someone may have a strong support system and have a full schedule but still feel very disconnected.
Other times loneliness is apparent. It can occur at the time of moving to a new city, the loss of a loved one, retirement, a relationship ending or when living alone for the first time. Sometimes, it is very slow and insidious. Lives get busy, schedules change, people get busy with their own things and good times get less frequent.
Eventually, an individual may realise that they have been feeling disconnected for quite some time.
This kind of realisation can be uncomfortable for many. It's easy to think that we should be able to overcome loneliness. But the desire to have company, to talk and to have something to connect with is a natural human need.
Loneliness Does Not Always Look the Way We Expect
When we think about someone who is lonely, we may imagine a person who lives alone or rarely sees other people. While this can certainly be part of the experience, loneliness is much more complicated than that.
Someone can be in the company of people for the whole day and still think that he or she has no one who can really talk to him or her. A person can be in the family circle on a frequent basis but feel emotionally separated from others. Another person could have a social network and hundreds of contacts on their cell phone and still feel like there is no one they can call on a bad day.
That's why don't judge loneliness by the looks.
A person might appear confident and happy on the outside but feel lonely and insecure on the inside. They can keep going to work, taking care of their family, doing their daily chores and no one will suspect that they are feeling lonely in their hearts.
Sometimes, the people who appear to be coping the best are the ones who need someone to ask how they are really doing.
Being Alone Is Not Always the Same as Being Lonely
There is an important difference between enjoying your own company and feeling lonely.
Alone time is a good thing. It can provide us with a chance to relax, take time to reflect, wander off to pursue a pastime or just take a break from the pressures of daily life. There are a lot of people who really appreciate a quiet time to themselves.
In contrast, loneliness is laced with the need for connection.
One person can have an afternoon of solitude and feel satisfied with it, another person the same afternoon may feel lonely and wish they had someone to talk to.
This distinction enables us to appreciate that loneliness isn't just about quantity of people. It's about that person feeling connected, understood and supported.
Why Do We Sometimes Find It So Difficult to Reach Out?
Being lonely can make it more difficult to reach out.
Someone might feel they are intruding in other people's space. They might think that their friends are too occupied. They might not feel comfortable saying that they are feeling sad, lonely, or isolated, especially when everyone around them seems to be doing fine.
There also may be a fear of rejection. It's difficult to come up with the idea to take the first step after a long period of feeling disheartened.
This can be a vicious circle leading to increased isolation and less opportunity for connection.
This cycle doesn't have to change dramatically for it to be broken. Sometimes the first step is just a note to a person you haven't been in contact with for a while. This might be meeting a new friend for coffee, joining a club, or a new pastime or just trying to talk to a person you see regularly.
The first step does not have to be perfect. It simply needs to happen.
The Importance of Everyday Human Connection
We sometimes underestimate how much ordinary human interaction can mean.
It can be a difference of a friendly chat at an appointment, a familiar face in the community, a neighbour who says hello or an individual who takes the time to really listen to what you have to say.
These moments can be small, but important reminders that we are not living in isolation of our normal routine.
A quick chat cannot be a substitute for close friendships, family relationships or professional help, of course. But connection every day is still valuable. Sense of belonging, acceptance and a feeling of being treated well can help someone feel good.
This is why the surroundings in which we live are important.
All of our actions (and inactions) during a week - where we go, who we meet, how we engage in the world around us - can have a positive or negative impact on our sense of connection.
Taking Care of Yourself When You Feel Disconnected
Self-care may be the last thing on an individual's mind when they are feeling lonely.
Staying home, avoiding social interactions or keeping the needs of others more important can be easier.
But focusing on self-care can be a helpful way to make some room in your schedule.
There are no fancy or expensive ways to care for yourself. Perhaps it's taking a walk, cooking a favourite recipe, going outside, or returning to a favourite activity or appointment that provides you a time to pause.
Personal care can also be a method of reconnecting with oneself for some. In times of stress, it is easy to lose track of those activities that make us feel comfortable, confident and cared for.
One hour isn't the solution, but it can be a reminder that you need to take care of yourself too.
The Role of a Welcoming Environment
Personal care is more than just service at Luxe Care.
The setting and treatment of people can make a difference to the whole experience.
The welcome, attitude and individual focus of staff can help make a person feel at ease as soon as they arrive. An appointment with one of the clients may just be a part of his or her regular personal care routine for some. It may be a chance for others to take a break from their regular duties and dedicate a few hours to themselves.
We recognise that an appointment will not substitute for positive relationships and is not a cure for loneliness.
But we also feel that small acts of kindness and human connection are important.
Making people feel comfortable, respected and welcome is a part of the Luxe Care experience that we feel is important.
You Do Not Have to Wait for a Special Occasion
Sometimes there is the perception that "time for ourselves" can only happen when there is a birthday or celebration, a holiday or a special event.
Your wellbeing doesn't have to be for a special occasion.
Making an appointment is okay if you want to feel better. Take some time off as you have had a rough week. A personal care service can be as a part of the human nature of doing something good for yourself.
There doesn't have to be a specific reason.
Sometimes, giving yourself permission to pause is reason enough.
Frequently Asked Questions About Loneliness
Does it feel lonely to have friends and family?
Yes. Being alone does not mean one lacks in companionship. Many times, it's just that you don't feel connected to those people. A person may engage in frequent interactions with others and feel like they are missing the deeper or more meaningful interaction.
If I've been feeling lonely for a long time, what should I do?
Don't feel you have to drastically alter your social life; start with something smaller than you think you should. Connecting with a trusted person, engaging in an activity or dedicating time to a hobby can provide opportunities for connection. Talking to an experienced person might also be useful if loneliness persists or is seriously impacting the way you feel.
When I am feeling lonely, can self-care help?
Self-care is no substitute for meaningful relationships, but it can help you to reconnect with your own needs and cause positive moments in your day. Self-care can also motivate you to get outside, engage in activities and offer opportunities for socialising.
Oh, but what if I don't know which of the Luxe Care services is suitable for me?
It is not essential to have everything clearly defined prior to talking with the Luxe Care team. If you cannot decide which service is suitable, then the staff will be able to advise you on the options that are available and what might be suitable for your needs.
What can I expect when visiting Luxe Care?
Luxe Care strives to give a professional, comfortable and welcoming experience. The needs and preferences of the individual are taken into account, and the client is made to feel valued and cared for during their visit.
A Gentle Reminder
Loneliness can make the world feel smaller.
It can make it hard to reach out and can make us feel like everyone else is "in" and we're "out.
Feelings can alter; connections can be restored.
It could start with a casual chat. It can start with going back to a favourite thing. It could start with calling someone you’ve been wanting to call. It can even start with taking time out for yourself and re-engaging with the outside world.
Don't go through life overhauling everything.
Allow yourself to make baby steps.
But if you feel lonely, or if loneliness has taken over your life, don't try to deal with it without assistance. Talking with someone you trust or getting professional assistance may be a critical step.
Making Time for Yourself at Luxe Care
Our philosophy at Luxe Care is personalised attention, comfort and caring. We know everyone is unique in their tastes and wants to take a break from the world.
We are here to chat with you about your ideas or what you're planning to do whether you're searching for a specific company, setting up an special event, or simply need to make something good for yourself.
It is important to us that all our clients feel comfortable, respected and welcome.
Sometimes the first step towards self-care is the very simple one of giving yourself some time.
Take the First Step
Call our staff to learn more about Luxe Care and the services offered and to schedule an consultation. No need to wait for a special day. Self-care can be a decision that you make for everyday living.
Luxe Care - thoughtful care, personal attention and a welcoming experience centred around you.
